While I love being a paralegal most days, you should get full disclosure on the other parts of the job. This is a big kick in the pants for most of us. Those of us who have been in the trenches for a long period of time KNOW this, have been burned by it to some degree, and quietly watch as the newbies learn the lesson. Most often, they refuse to learn it from us. I'll give you an example:
We were discussing office policy with a new to the firm paralegal who is in her early to mid twenties. Now, she really believes that she is worldly AND wise. (Those of us with greyer heads are already starting to shake our heads, kinda like watching a puppy.) I am not saying she's dumb. She's far from it. She's not wise enough yet to know that she has a lot left to learn. That won't hit her until she's ...oh...35? Maybe? When you're a kid, they tell you the secret about Santa, but NONE of these folks tell you the truth about life, and people, EVER. No, you just go through life thinking that you can say stupid shit like, "I know him better than he knows himself," and really believe that's a fact. They save the rude surprises of betrayal for when you're older, but that's another 20 dollars.
Anyway, we were talking about policy, promotions and salary, all the kinds of shit that attorneys pray you never figure out, so you can't see where you're being mildly cheated, and feel grateful that you have a job, and that you're also lucky enough to work in their August Presence (tm). We were talking about taking a list of complaints AND suggested fixes to the Upper Ups and at least TRY to make some changes. She (we'll call her Stripes) decides to share this with her attorney. Oh Lord. She said that she did, in fact, know him better than he knew himself (after MAYBE 2 years of working with him), and she KNEW that he'd have HER best interests at heart.
You can't even snicker at her naivety. It's so not funny. All you can do is pray she has a parachute for when she falls back to Earth again.
I've been working for my attorney for about 9 years. For 9 years, I have made coffee, balanced his home and work schedules (he isn't one of those that requires you to buy presents or shit like that, but there IS a certain amount of homelife that shadows a calendar), so I do my best to make sure he attends PTA conferences, school plays, games and stuff by NOT scheduling on top of them. I know that sounds easy enough, but it CAN be difficult, and my co workers have been known to try to weedle that time out of him for doctor depos, since they can be tough.
(Word of advice...NEVER do that. It pisses him off, and shows weakness to the other side, just say that the date is UNAVAILABLE.)
9 years of bullshit. 9 years of undoing the messes that my coworkers have wrought. 3 years of hearing that there's not going to be a raise because of the economy, and we're hiring new workers and new attorneys AND expanding. 9 years of struggling through crappy cases, and building claims out of thin air and a prayer (Important because the newbies get to reap the rewards of convincing the Upper UPs to stop taking these shitty cases). 9 years of arguing to make things fair, and 9 years of bad jokes. 9 years of defending him to clients who are irate, and 9 years of making miracles happen (Oh, you want me to find a witness for you, but no one knows who this is, and you THINK there might be a first name on page 67 of plaintiff's transcript OR hey, sure, I can convince a clerk or judge's secretary to drop just everything and give you something ridiculous that we know you don't need, but neither of us can convince YOU of it).
What does all THAT mean? Nothing. If you want something based on something refered to as "your dues." You don't DO anything, so you aren't DUE anything. They talk about how they deserve whatever it is because they've been doing this for 4500 years, yet you don't deserve anything based on seniority, which is the line of shit they give you when they want to do whatever it is that they are going to do that you're not going to like. You learn the hard way that you're as important to them as their watch. They like it, but when it breaks, they buy a new one, and they don't mourn the old, but if they did, it would be more than they'd mourn for you, EXCEPT to tell the NEW replacement how wonderful you were and you made magic for them for FREEEEEEE because they sure as shit don't want to pay you what you are worth. (I think I work for the only plaintiff firm that pays LESS than the defense.)
They will tell you how fabulous you are, and how they are lost without you, but not when it comes down to money. Oh no. Then you are lucky to have a job, and they can replace you in a matter of months (even though you know damned well that any assistants they've had besides you have run off for the hills in self-preservation and there is NO way that he'll get his fingers into multi-million dollar cases with a fledgling at his side.)
However, if you still think loyalty goes both ways, sit beside me. Listening to you talk will be like watching the window at the pet store.
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